Time they say, it takes time. I am reminded of this every day now. I am goal oriented and like to measure my progress. Well, this is a time in my life where I cannot honestly say that I can observe daily progress. Yet, I looked for it every evening when I am in doubt.
You remember that new computer? Well it went back because Peter could not work out Windows 8. I figured if he had trouble, I was left out in the cold. I will keep working with this old computer. At least, I know its idiosyncrasies! We replaced that present with a 4 X 4 painting of horses that now are hung on the gable end of the living room.
While the weather had been nice, we were able to add another set of beds to the garden. Then the cold and the rain kept us indoors for a couple of weeks. I much rather be outside as I am still struggling with the vertigo and the blood pressure medications. I must have tried 5 or 6! I even tried the natural way of controlling the pressure. The natural way was the easiest one on my brain but it required diligence in taking supplements and eating this or that. And add a little excitement to the day such as a friend's visit and it no longer worked. I am now on Lozartan. It seems to keep the BP down most of the time. We just need to tweak it some. Now remains to see if I will be able to tolerate it much longer. I am very loopy.
Today was my dance lesson day. We are starting to think forward to a showcase. That is like a recital for those of you who do not understand the terminology. Who knows how many months we will work at it. Soon after, my friend Karin arrived to help me lay down some more mulch on the perennial bed on the upper level of the back patio. This bed is very steep so it was a struggle for me. As a matter of fact, I had to pack it in after lunch. I was too tired and dizzy. Peter and Karin finished by themselves. Now hopefully we will have one more good day in the future to finish the last bed.
After a rest, I was able to return outdoors and work on the vegetable garden remodeling. It apparently rained a good bit last night as it was slick out there on top of the clay isles! The level we are working on is not level so it was another tiring challenge but we made a little progress in digging it out to level it. Yesterday, I had gone to the garden for the first time in two weeks and I pleasantly surprised how easy it was for me to get around. I had actually made some progress! Perhaps, I need to try to see daily improvement and trust that something is improving.
Monday, November 24, 2014
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Happy birthday to me!
Yes, today is my birthday. It was a good day, a good weekend.
My friend Diane did her showcase in Bethesda at Igor's new studio. We had decided that we would pick her up after lunch in order to arrive early enough for me to rest prior to her dancing. I was excited as this was my first trip overnight away from home. I know the ride is only an hour away but I don't do well in the car. The continuous bouncing is very challenging to my equilibrium. So, we decided to break up the trip by staying over night at the hotel next door to the studio. It was OK. It was what they called a four-star hotel. There was no restaurant and the rooms were small. But, we had parking and could walk to the studio and to restaurants.
We arrived shortly after 1:00 PM. Unfortunately only one room was ready, so Diane came with us until it was time to go to the studio at 2:45PM. I did not get a chance to lie down, but did rest as best I could while easing her nerves for her performance. The performance went well and I saw a few old dancing friends. By 4:00 PM, I was ready to leave. I had had fun but I was LOOPY and tired. I had to return to the hotel to rest before going out to dinner. Diane was treating us for my birthday and we had reservations for 7:00 PM.
The previous two weeks, I had tried several new blood pressure medications (all disasters); so just before the week end I decided to go back on the least offensive one. At least I knew what to expect: extreme loopiness. Have you ever tried to function after having a few too many? I only did once. Well now it is 24 hours a day. I manage to walk straight. I can handle things with my hands with a little more time. But man, there is an electrical storm in my head. I can hear the static. So after a few hours of this, I need to be by myself and regroup, as Heather's riding coach would say when things did not go well. In other words: Stop, rethink, rest, try again.
Dinner was lovely. Peter had picked a nice Italian restaurant full of ambiance. The salmon with a lemon sauce was excellent. Thank you, Diane.
Peter slept OK. Diane says she was up and down all night. I was in a twilight. My senses had been over challenged - sensory overload.
Once home, I recharged. After lunch, we went computer shopping for me! I settled for one of those new fandangled touch-screen lap top can can change into a tablet. Peter is now setting up all of my accounts and hooking up to the wifi. It will take some getting used to this new gadget. I never like my present one, a Toshiba that gave me tons of trouble with the cursor running away wildly and re-positioning itself who knows where. I must say, I have always carried a lot of magnetism that disrupts electronics. Yes, and now that I am buzzing... hopefully the new machine will not be so sensitive to me. I have had a Dell that liked me once, but not the last one! Darren usually inherits my cast offs just in time as his dies.
So, I had a happy birthday and many good messages from friends. Tomorrow is another day. To other friends are coming to help me mulch two more perennial beds. I started a large pot of soup for lunch. Actually one of them left stuffed peppers on my stairs today. That was dinner!
And after a few more days of loopiness-peace, I will dare to try some new medication again.
My friend Diane did her showcase in Bethesda at Igor's new studio. We had decided that we would pick her up after lunch in order to arrive early enough for me to rest prior to her dancing. I was excited as this was my first trip overnight away from home. I know the ride is only an hour away but I don't do well in the car. The continuous bouncing is very challenging to my equilibrium. So, we decided to break up the trip by staying over night at the hotel next door to the studio. It was OK. It was what they called a four-star hotel. There was no restaurant and the rooms were small. But, we had parking and could walk to the studio and to restaurants.
We arrived shortly after 1:00 PM. Unfortunately only one room was ready, so Diane came with us until it was time to go to the studio at 2:45PM. I did not get a chance to lie down, but did rest as best I could while easing her nerves for her performance. The performance went well and I saw a few old dancing friends. By 4:00 PM, I was ready to leave. I had had fun but I was LOOPY and tired. I had to return to the hotel to rest before going out to dinner. Diane was treating us for my birthday and we had reservations for 7:00 PM.
The previous two weeks, I had tried several new blood pressure medications (all disasters); so just before the week end I decided to go back on the least offensive one. At least I knew what to expect: extreme loopiness. Have you ever tried to function after having a few too many? I only did once. Well now it is 24 hours a day. I manage to walk straight. I can handle things with my hands with a little more time. But man, there is an electrical storm in my head. I can hear the static. So after a few hours of this, I need to be by myself and regroup, as Heather's riding coach would say when things did not go well. In other words: Stop, rethink, rest, try again.
Dinner was lovely. Peter had picked a nice Italian restaurant full of ambiance. The salmon with a lemon sauce was excellent. Thank you, Diane.
Peter slept OK. Diane says she was up and down all night. I was in a twilight. My senses had been over challenged - sensory overload.
Once home, I recharged. After lunch, we went computer shopping for me! I settled for one of those new fandangled touch-screen lap top can can change into a tablet. Peter is now setting up all of my accounts and hooking up to the wifi. It will take some getting used to this new gadget. I never like my present one, a Toshiba that gave me tons of trouble with the cursor running away wildly and re-positioning itself who knows where. I must say, I have always carried a lot of magnetism that disrupts electronics. Yes, and now that I am buzzing... hopefully the new machine will not be so sensitive to me. I have had a Dell that liked me once, but not the last one! Darren usually inherits my cast offs just in time as his dies.
So, I had a happy birthday and many good messages from friends. Tomorrow is another day. To other friends are coming to help me mulch two more perennial beds. I started a large pot of soup for lunch. Actually one of them left stuffed peppers on my stairs today. That was dinner!
And after a few more days of loopiness-peace, I will dare to try some new medication again.
Saturday, October 25, 2014
An Invigorating morning
Well it has been quite a while since I posted a blog. I had such a rough time this past month, that it was best for me to keep quiet or else I would whine. First, it was the cold; then, the sessions with the electric needles; and once more, the regulation of the blood pressure. I believe we are starting back on track with the pressure, but the loopiness resulting from the cold and needles definitely set me back.
I have not retreated to my bed! No matter how tough things were, I continued my routine of two lessons a week. Slava has bene terrific. We are still making progress. If only I were not so loopy. Half way through the lesson, I begin to tire. Perhaps we are pushing a bit. I may decide to shorten the lessons to 45 minutes now that we are upping the energy and the technique. I have also done more and more in the gardens.
The weather has been iffy for outside work. We have had a lot of rain. But... every time it is not raining, I do a little more in the perennial beds or the vegetable garden. This morning, I actually enjoyed myself. I raked out the dirt in the latest bed creation and leveled the first completed isle. No pictures yet as the job is not completed. I lost total track of time and ignored my tight, electric side. I should say that I barely felt any pain, just weakness and some teeter-toddling as the ground is still very uneven since we are reconstructing it. The air was crisp and the sun was blue.
Yesterday, my dear friend Karin helped me with mulching one of the nine flower beds. That was quite a job. I really was not of much help as getting up and down makes me even loopier! It looks great. One down, eight to go. If the weather cooperates, we should be done by Thanksgiving as we only spread mulch once a week. There is much to do to prepare the beds.
This coming week, three more doctors are checking me out. Time to get a new prescription for my eyes. Seems like some of my loopiness could be resulting from a visual focus problem created by the stroke.
So far, it has been a good day.
I have not retreated to my bed! No matter how tough things were, I continued my routine of two lessons a week. Slava has bene terrific. We are still making progress. If only I were not so loopy. Half way through the lesson, I begin to tire. Perhaps we are pushing a bit. I may decide to shorten the lessons to 45 minutes now that we are upping the energy and the technique. I have also done more and more in the gardens.
The weather has been iffy for outside work. We have had a lot of rain. But... every time it is not raining, I do a little more in the perennial beds or the vegetable garden. This morning, I actually enjoyed myself. I raked out the dirt in the latest bed creation and leveled the first completed isle. No pictures yet as the job is not completed. I lost total track of time and ignored my tight, electric side. I should say that I barely felt any pain, just weakness and some teeter-toddling as the ground is still very uneven since we are reconstructing it. The air was crisp and the sun was blue.
Yesterday, my dear friend Karin helped me with mulching one of the nine flower beds. That was quite a job. I really was not of much help as getting up and down makes me even loopier! It looks great. One down, eight to go. If the weather cooperates, we should be done by Thanksgiving as we only spread mulch once a week. There is much to do to prepare the beds.
This coming week, three more doctors are checking me out. Time to get a new prescription for my eyes. Seems like some of my loopiness could be resulting from a visual focus problem created by the stroke.
So far, it has been a good day.
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Tomorrow is another day
This has been quite a week or more since I wrote. My cold settled in my head of all places. I already have too much going on up there. So for a few days my dizziness, my weakness, and my endurance took a hit.
I saw Dr Nakazawa. We had a rather lengthy introduction. His children and grandchildren attended McDonogh School, as did Darren, and I taught French and Spanish there until Darren's accident. His daughter teaches French at another one of our elite private schools. He declared that I was a most interesting case, and he could help me. There was a procedure to be done on the scalp, but he zeroed in on my sciatica which had not yet resurfaced in the past year or so. Now, that wasn't so complicated! I endured the electrical impulses attached to the needles for 20 minutes-not fun, but tolerable. Shortly after I left his office, my whole right side was tighter than before, covered with pins and needles (a feeling). I recovered gradually over the next few days and would try one more session.
Between the cold and Dr Nakasawa I was drunk and feeling so bad that I cancelled my dance lessons twice, did not dance all week.
By Yesterday, Tuesday morning, I was feeling a bit better than I had since my stroke. I could focus more, the right side was less tight, the gait was smoother, and I had very little loopiness. I had decided to forgo the natural blood pressure lowering meds after concluding they were as powerful as the pharmaceuticals. My vascular doc wanted me to stop all BP meds but I was not comfortable with this notion. I would gradually decrease them and observe since I was going back to Hopkins for the three-months check up in a few days. So things were looking up.
I went to the ballroom to dance on my own. I managed to get through my open routines in waltz and foxtrot. I did some chacha and samba. NO DIZZINESS! Man did I feel uplifted!!!! So I went and weeded one of my perennial beds for an hour and a half. Then, I decided perhaps I should be careful and not overdo it.
That afternoon I had booked my second session with Dr N. He narrowed down the area of acupuncture and intensified the juice when I told him I saw no improvement. I must say, he could be getting hard of hearing or maybe he has that male-ego attitude of having to be right. Then he left me for one hour plus. I could feel the electricity along my entire right side into my head. I have never had such a violent reaction even though this type of acupuncture was performed several years ago for the sciatica. It did not work then. What was I thinking? I was not a happy camper. He assured me a warm bath would ease the discomfort. It got worse. This morning I was in pain but I was going back to the neurology department today.
I dared to call Dr N this morning. He denied that his treatment had any influence on the way I felt! OK, I am cancelling my future appointment with him
So we went to Hopkins. The Drs were an hour late. I was pleasantly surprised by Dr Bahouth. She had seemed like a naysayer when I saw her during my stay in the hospital. She was compassionate. After examining me and talking about all of the side effects I had from the meds, she agreed with Dr Hoke (Neuropathy doc) and with Dr Ratchford that I did not need the BP meds at all. Dizziness is an indication that something is too much. NO KIDDING. I had been reluctant to go cold turkey as I do not want another episode.
She brought in another big Kahuna to meet me since I had recovered so well (in their words, not mine). He was shocked that I had stopped the Lipitor and gave me the lecture of my life. My GP has told me to when I developed terrible muscle pain. He suggested a much smaller dose of a different statins and suggested we could check my blood for the enzymes that degenerate muscles if the symptoms reoccurred. I agreed. And we are once more going to try Gabapentin in a syrup, designated for babies. This would ease my ever-present nerve pain.
I'll take one med at a time to see if I get a reaction. The statin is not going to help me feel better but it will increase my chances of not having another stroke over the next five years by 16%. If I do get a reaction, I will have to stop it. Now will the Gabapentin at a minute dose help?
So tomorrow is another day. I do hope my head is better for my lesson tomorrow morning as I am stopping the BP medication entirely.
I saw Dr Nakazawa. We had a rather lengthy introduction. His children and grandchildren attended McDonogh School, as did Darren, and I taught French and Spanish there until Darren's accident. His daughter teaches French at another one of our elite private schools. He declared that I was a most interesting case, and he could help me. There was a procedure to be done on the scalp, but he zeroed in on my sciatica which had not yet resurfaced in the past year or so. Now, that wasn't so complicated! I endured the electrical impulses attached to the needles for 20 minutes-not fun, but tolerable. Shortly after I left his office, my whole right side was tighter than before, covered with pins and needles (a feeling). I recovered gradually over the next few days and would try one more session.
Between the cold and Dr Nakasawa I was drunk and feeling so bad that I cancelled my dance lessons twice, did not dance all week.
By Yesterday, Tuesday morning, I was feeling a bit better than I had since my stroke. I could focus more, the right side was less tight, the gait was smoother, and I had very little loopiness. I had decided to forgo the natural blood pressure lowering meds after concluding they were as powerful as the pharmaceuticals. My vascular doc wanted me to stop all BP meds but I was not comfortable with this notion. I would gradually decrease them and observe since I was going back to Hopkins for the three-months check up in a few days. So things were looking up.
I went to the ballroom to dance on my own. I managed to get through my open routines in waltz and foxtrot. I did some chacha and samba. NO DIZZINESS! Man did I feel uplifted!!!! So I went and weeded one of my perennial beds for an hour and a half. Then, I decided perhaps I should be careful and not overdo it.
That afternoon I had booked my second session with Dr N. He narrowed down the area of acupuncture and intensified the juice when I told him I saw no improvement. I must say, he could be getting hard of hearing or maybe he has that male-ego attitude of having to be right. Then he left me for one hour plus. I could feel the electricity along my entire right side into my head. I have never had such a violent reaction even though this type of acupuncture was performed several years ago for the sciatica. It did not work then. What was I thinking? I was not a happy camper. He assured me a warm bath would ease the discomfort. It got worse. This morning I was in pain but I was going back to the neurology department today.
I dared to call Dr N this morning. He denied that his treatment had any influence on the way I felt! OK, I am cancelling my future appointment with him
So we went to Hopkins. The Drs were an hour late. I was pleasantly surprised by Dr Bahouth. She had seemed like a naysayer when I saw her during my stay in the hospital. She was compassionate. After examining me and talking about all of the side effects I had from the meds, she agreed with Dr Hoke (Neuropathy doc) and with Dr Ratchford that I did not need the BP meds at all. Dizziness is an indication that something is too much. NO KIDDING. I had been reluctant to go cold turkey as I do not want another episode.
She brought in another big Kahuna to meet me since I had recovered so well (in their words, not mine). He was shocked that I had stopped the Lipitor and gave me the lecture of my life. My GP has told me to when I developed terrible muscle pain. He suggested a much smaller dose of a different statins and suggested we could check my blood for the enzymes that degenerate muscles if the symptoms reoccurred. I agreed. And we are once more going to try Gabapentin in a syrup, designated for babies. This would ease my ever-present nerve pain.
I'll take one med at a time to see if I get a reaction. The statin is not going to help me feel better but it will increase my chances of not having another stroke over the next five years by 16%. If I do get a reaction, I will have to stop it. Now will the Gabapentin at a minute dose help?
So tomorrow is another day. I do hope my head is better for my lesson tomorrow morning as I am stopping the BP medication entirely.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
A small set back
This week has not been my finest. I came down with a cold. I never tolerated one before but now... It has settled into my head and rendered me loopier than ever. I basically sat around or spent whatever energy I had to disinfect the surfaces of the house so as not to pass the cold on to others. I brought out the big gun, Clorox.
This evening I feel a bit chirpier. I actually took some photos of all of our projects and managed to weed a little. Still I am not back to my old new self. My Right side feels as tight as ever. It really hurts but I'm hanging in there as tomorrow I see a new doctor. Yes, I keep trying.
Sunday, we attended a dinner party where I saw an old friend, Dr Earl Wilkinson.Earl is very progressive in his thinking, an otolaryngologist qualified in acupuncture. He had just invited Dr Nakasawa to speak to the Howard Co Medical society about acupuncture. Dr Nakasawa just returned from Japan where he received the highest award. Earl suggested I give him a call. You bet I did! And tomorrow I will meet with him for two hours. In the meanwhile, I keep reading books about the brain and the latest studies.
I promised some pictures of the work in the garden.
Here is the new reduced garden. The fence has been moved. Now we are beginning to reset the beds. First, we do the perimeter.
Peter lined all of the pressure-treated 6x6s with cement block set on their sides to minimize chemical leakage into the beds. I have already transplanted some of my herbs, as you can barely see.
All of the old beds were constructed out of cement blocks. The surplus ones from the old garden have dismantled and saved by Darren. Here is a stack of them.
This evening I feel a bit chirpier. I actually took some photos of all of our projects and managed to weed a little. Still I am not back to my old new self. My Right side feels as tight as ever. It really hurts but I'm hanging in there as tomorrow I see a new doctor. Yes, I keep trying.
Sunday, we attended a dinner party where I saw an old friend, Dr Earl Wilkinson.Earl is very progressive in his thinking, an otolaryngologist qualified in acupuncture. He had just invited Dr Nakasawa to speak to the Howard Co Medical society about acupuncture. Dr Nakasawa just returned from Japan where he received the highest award. Earl suggested I give him a call. You bet I did! And tomorrow I will meet with him for two hours. In the meanwhile, I keep reading books about the brain and the latest studies.
I promised some pictures of the work in the garden.
Here is a picture of the remaining old beds. The blocks will be removed . Once the perimeter is completely lined with the blocks, we will redo the center beds. The beds will be raised a bit more, using two decking boards. We are using Trex to ensure durability. Yes, our produce will be pricey!
I failed to mention that we are making the beds level from side to side, all being in terraced form since the garden is on a hillside. As a result, Darren and Peter have removed several hundred wheelbarrows of dirt. All I did was crack the whip. I did transplant the herbs with help. I am beginning to wield a shovel.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
What's new?
I received a lovely card today from my friend Terri. It was a get well kind of card, one emphasizing my need to be patient. She reminded me how far I have come on this journey of heeling- that my progress seemed slow only to me! I needed that. You see, I am a doer, not a wait-around person. I still have a few limitations stemming from the stroke, but I keep plugging along. I'm up all day, doing projects and completing chores. At times I feel a little clumsy with my coordination, but I usually manage. I can actually handle a rake in the garden now! I even dug a little. You see, we are totally remodeling our vegetable garden.
Our land is on a hill side, which means that the vegetable beds are tiered. Unfortunately, the pathways are not level and I find it (and always did) difficult to work with my feet on an angle. First of all the garden was way too large. We have so much food, we have had trouble giving it away. The freezers are full. So why work so hard to throw the vegetables in the compost heaps? So we are down sizing the garden from 1/2 acre to 1/4 acre. For most people, that is still too big. Not for me. I love to dig in the dirt, weed, plant etc.
So earlier this year, we started to move the fence in. I decided I wanted the whole garden surrounded by railroad ties, 6x6. This is sure to keep the grass on the lawn side! This meant leveling some of the ground and moving the deer fence. This took Peter and Darren a good three months. We do everything by hand over here! Then we had to line the perimeter with concrete blocks to slow down the leaching of the pressure treated lumber into the garden. Well the blocks are 15 inches so this meant digging down a bit. Thank goodness we have a lot of property full of uneven surfaces to level because there is nothing like getting rid of hundreds of wheel barrows of dirt. As of today, I am happy to report that 1/2 is completed and that it is being paralleled by boards to created my herb bed. Now I have the pleasure of renewing the dirt and transplanting my herbs. At the speed I work, it may take a while. This is the perfect time of the year to undertake such a project.
Once the perimeter beds are completed, Peter and Darren have the task of rebuilding the center beds. All of the beds will be nearly level, or at least perfect terraces- as will all of the isles. The beds are all raised,of course. I would have liked them even higher as my back talks to me after several hours of bending down; but when I priced decent lumber, we had to scale down the height.
As soon as I figure out how to publish pictures on this blog, I will show you the progress.
What else is new? Well, I can run now, so quickstep is in the near future! The problem is that the loopiness in my head remains. No one seems to know what to make of it. I tried abandoning the blood pressure medication. It was clearing up but the blood pressure was inching up. We tried Neurontin to quiet down all of the excess energy in the brain and I have another bad reaction. Too bad, as it was starting to attenuate the nerve pain on my right side. At times, my brain senses it to be so tight that I feel something will snap! It is truly in my head. It is a phantom pain. All I can do is distract myself and I can manage OK. For some reason, I can sleep, yet while watching TV at night, my right leg wants to jump out! Go figure how crazy this all is. None of my neurologists can explain this. So when it gets unbearable, I get up and walk fast. You should see how fast I can go now. Tonight I actually felt good running. Who knows what awaits me- a marathon?
Our land is on a hill side, which means that the vegetable beds are tiered. Unfortunately, the pathways are not level and I find it (and always did) difficult to work with my feet on an angle. First of all the garden was way too large. We have so much food, we have had trouble giving it away. The freezers are full. So why work so hard to throw the vegetables in the compost heaps? So we are down sizing the garden from 1/2 acre to 1/4 acre. For most people, that is still too big. Not for me. I love to dig in the dirt, weed, plant etc.
So earlier this year, we started to move the fence in. I decided I wanted the whole garden surrounded by railroad ties, 6x6. This is sure to keep the grass on the lawn side! This meant leveling some of the ground and moving the deer fence. This took Peter and Darren a good three months. We do everything by hand over here! Then we had to line the perimeter with concrete blocks to slow down the leaching of the pressure treated lumber into the garden. Well the blocks are 15 inches so this meant digging down a bit. Thank goodness we have a lot of property full of uneven surfaces to level because there is nothing like getting rid of hundreds of wheel barrows of dirt. As of today, I am happy to report that 1/2 is completed and that it is being paralleled by boards to created my herb bed. Now I have the pleasure of renewing the dirt and transplanting my herbs. At the speed I work, it may take a while. This is the perfect time of the year to undertake such a project.
Once the perimeter beds are completed, Peter and Darren have the task of rebuilding the center beds. All of the beds will be nearly level, or at least perfect terraces- as will all of the isles. The beds are all raised,of course. I would have liked them even higher as my back talks to me after several hours of bending down; but when I priced decent lumber, we had to scale down the height.
As soon as I figure out how to publish pictures on this blog, I will show you the progress.
What else is new? Well, I can run now, so quickstep is in the near future! The problem is that the loopiness in my head remains. No one seems to know what to make of it. I tried abandoning the blood pressure medication. It was clearing up but the blood pressure was inching up. We tried Neurontin to quiet down all of the excess energy in the brain and I have another bad reaction. Too bad, as it was starting to attenuate the nerve pain on my right side. At times, my brain senses it to be so tight that I feel something will snap! It is truly in my head. It is a phantom pain. All I can do is distract myself and I can manage OK. For some reason, I can sleep, yet while watching TV at night, my right leg wants to jump out! Go figure how crazy this all is. None of my neurologists can explain this. So when it gets unbearable, I get up and walk fast. You should see how fast I can go now. Tonight I actually felt good running. Who knows what awaits me- a marathon?
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Moments of true clarity, new-found energy, lessons relearned.
Lat week I found myself having brief moments of clarity: I could focus on details, I had no drunken feelings, I was not dizzy. These moments quickly passed, yet they were there. These past two days, the brief moments lengthened into minutes, perhaps 15. And today, I saw a couple of good hours before my head went bad again and my body felt very tired. There is progress.
This new found consciousness had lead me to having more positive energy. I never was negative but I went through a lot of my paces with a certain amount of perfunctoriness, though diligently. I am now taking up chores and projects with enthusiasm. I just have to remember to not over do it.
Those of you who know me well can testify that I am a work horse.I have had the energy of a thoroughbred and I work 'till I drop. The problem these days is that I dropped a lot sooner than I used to. I need to relearn some old lessons:" Don't push so hard." If I push too much the next day, I am good for nothing but rest. And I am not talking much here. It started with a simple walk to the garden! Of course now I can actually do odds and ends there, so there has been a reward to pushing a bit. Still, I do not like having to sit in an armchair the next day doing facebook, emails, games, and watching TV.
One day last week I complained of my stove being unlevel. The oil in a pan always ends up on one side. No point having cadillac of a stove (five feet long - a Wolf stove for those who are familiar). So Peter took it up upon himself to do the job after 10 years of complaints. No so easy. The stove weighs some 500lbs. It rests on six adjustable legs. So if one side is too low, you raise the far end on a diagonal. No. There are four other legs. The back legs are not easily reached so I suggested moving one of the cabinets next to it. My cabinets are movable. This one could move three feet to the side but not forward. Job done. Now, it is out three feet and we have its previous floor space free to climb into. What do I see? Ten years of cob webs, cat hair, and who knows what else. I get some paper towels and cleaning product, climb over the couch to get to the spot(!), and am standing there. I need to crouch to do the job. No problem I go down easily enough. I encounter some difficulty turning myself around down there, cursing at my disability; but I manage to do a good enough job before hubby takes over the job of working on the back leg. I suddenly realize I am very tired. Mind you it is 8:00PM and I usually am resting by then. I also realize I cannot get up! My inner core has turned to jello! Finally after several pathetic attempts I manage to get up and climb back over the sofa. Lesson relearned: "Be mindful of your limitations."
And it is time to suck in that matronly belly again. No more jello!
This new found consciousness had lead me to having more positive energy. I never was negative but I went through a lot of my paces with a certain amount of perfunctoriness, though diligently. I am now taking up chores and projects with enthusiasm. I just have to remember to not over do it.
Those of you who know me well can testify that I am a work horse.I have had the energy of a thoroughbred and I work 'till I drop. The problem these days is that I dropped a lot sooner than I used to. I need to relearn some old lessons:" Don't push so hard." If I push too much the next day, I am good for nothing but rest. And I am not talking much here. It started with a simple walk to the garden! Of course now I can actually do odds and ends there, so there has been a reward to pushing a bit. Still, I do not like having to sit in an armchair the next day doing facebook, emails, games, and watching TV.
One day last week I complained of my stove being unlevel. The oil in a pan always ends up on one side. No point having cadillac of a stove (five feet long - a Wolf stove for those who are familiar). So Peter took it up upon himself to do the job after 10 years of complaints. No so easy. The stove weighs some 500lbs. It rests on six adjustable legs. So if one side is too low, you raise the far end on a diagonal. No. There are four other legs. The back legs are not easily reached so I suggested moving one of the cabinets next to it. My cabinets are movable. This one could move three feet to the side but not forward. Job done. Now, it is out three feet and we have its previous floor space free to climb into. What do I see? Ten years of cob webs, cat hair, and who knows what else. I get some paper towels and cleaning product, climb over the couch to get to the spot(!), and am standing there. I need to crouch to do the job. No problem I go down easily enough. I encounter some difficulty turning myself around down there, cursing at my disability; but I manage to do a good enough job before hubby takes over the job of working on the back leg. I suddenly realize I am very tired. Mind you it is 8:00PM and I usually am resting by then. I also realize I cannot get up! My inner core has turned to jello! Finally after several pathetic attempts I manage to get up and climb back over the sofa. Lesson relearned: "Be mindful of your limitations."
And it is time to suck in that matronly belly again. No more jello!
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Strange sensations
The last day I was at the hospital, one of the neurologists, whom I had not seen before, was conducting her rounds with the young doctors. On her way out she briefly mentioned that I would feel some strange sensations. At the time, this did not seem like a big deal, so I did not question it.
Everyday, I feel either a new sensation or a stronger one. For instance, this right side of mine which was affected by the stroke, has been intensifying. Is this good? Well it is not paralyzed. Yet, it seems at time that it is some distance from me. There is ever so much of an electrical charge going through it unless I am lying down absolutely still. At times there are bands of squeezing- even to the point of pain. And the ants or needles are constant, though quieter at rest.But when I rest, there is so much static in my head!
This squeezing sometimes feels as though I am being pulled to the right and at other times, being lifted. It is strange. It is all in my head. Nothing is in the body.Yet, I fight this everyday. I have been doing stretching exercises towards my right since I feel pulled to the left. It seems to have paid off. When I close my eyes and try to touch the tip of my nose, I no longer land to the right of it. I actually have a bull's eye! I am creating new pathways in my brain.
Here is another example of a weird feeling that comes and goes. I hate wedgies! Well guess what? I have the sensation that I have one all of the time. I can tug at my pants all I want. It does not help.
Well, I cut my low dose med in 1/2. Some of the dizziness has evaporated. I am waiting for the rest of the loopiness to leave. How much was a result of the stroke and how much was exacerbated by the med? So far the blood pressure is still manageable. I am not quite ready to go cold turkey!
Today, I was able to help out in the garden for 30 minutes, bending down and weeding without getting dizzy. It was a pleasure. We have a winter squash plant named argonaut. It must have covered 1/2 acre. It was time to cut it down to size. There must be 8 or more very large squash of 20 or more lbs. They are good over-the-winter keepers. Now Hubby and Darren are doing more weeding. I did not want to push my luck out there. The sensations really intensify when I over do it.
Everyday, I feel either a new sensation or a stronger one. For instance, this right side of mine which was affected by the stroke, has been intensifying. Is this good? Well it is not paralyzed. Yet, it seems at time that it is some distance from me. There is ever so much of an electrical charge going through it unless I am lying down absolutely still. At times there are bands of squeezing- even to the point of pain. And the ants or needles are constant, though quieter at rest.But when I rest, there is so much static in my head!
This squeezing sometimes feels as though I am being pulled to the right and at other times, being lifted. It is strange. It is all in my head. Nothing is in the body.Yet, I fight this everyday. I have been doing stretching exercises towards my right since I feel pulled to the left. It seems to have paid off. When I close my eyes and try to touch the tip of my nose, I no longer land to the right of it. I actually have a bull's eye! I am creating new pathways in my brain.
Here is another example of a weird feeling that comes and goes. I hate wedgies! Well guess what? I have the sensation that I have one all of the time. I can tug at my pants all I want. It does not help.
Well, I cut my low dose med in 1/2. Some of the dizziness has evaporated. I am waiting for the rest of the loopiness to leave. How much was a result of the stroke and how much was exacerbated by the med? So far the blood pressure is still manageable. I am not quite ready to go cold turkey!
Today, I was able to help out in the garden for 30 minutes, bending down and weeding without getting dizzy. It was a pleasure. We have a winter squash plant named argonaut. It must have covered 1/2 acre. It was time to cut it down to size. There must be 8 or more very large squash of 20 or more lbs. They are good over-the-winter keepers. Now Hubby and Darren are doing more weeding. I did not want to push my luck out there. The sensations really intensify when I over do it.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Yes, he is a guru
How many specialists, mostly neurologists, have I see over the past three years regarding the pins and needles I feel in my right foot? How many tests have I undergone? Where were these people trained? Many were Hopkins trained, yet no one has diagnosed my problem correctly. I have attempted to take medications. They made me sick. The last neurologist wanted to operate. Guess what? It is all related to my back surgery of 12 years ago. Even my top-notch surgeon could not read the spinal MRI correctly. He said the problem was not related to my back. Someone labeled it neuropathy. NO. I do not have it in both feet. The nerve pain is also located on the side of the leg.
After examining me and re-reading the MRI of my sciatic nerve Dr Hoke knew exactly what the problem was. It is related to L5 in the spine due to some injury. He did not know I had had surgery.I made an appointment nine months ago and I am so thankful to have waited so long to see him. I almost cancelled my appointment after I had a stroke which makes that problem seem so insignificant. Dr Hoke is a full professor at The Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. He is compassionate (unusual for a neurologist), he is patient (was correcting a medical student without embarrassing her), and most of all listened to me.
We addressed my present neurological deficits. They should resolve themselves up to 90%. I will aim for more. And it could take anywhere from 6 months to 2 years. I can live with that! Now the problem in my head... I feel drunk all of the time... this is the blood pressure medicationis affecting my presence of mind.. He even questions the need for it since I am on such an insignificant dose which causes it to drop so much on occasion. Dr Molinaro, my GP, was very nervous about his suggestion for good reasons.
I decided to take the evening dose since I do not feel the dizziness and "loopiness" in bed. I will try without the AM dose. By then my brain is so much clearer until I take the next dose. This way I can see how my system reacts in terms of blood pressure and improvement in "loopiness." I have already implemented a diet which lowers blood pressure. I will continue to exercise as much as my body allows. Dr Hoke seems to think I am working too hard at getting better, so I will rest more. During these rest period I will meditate. We'll see...
In any case, Dr Hoke was a breath of fresh air. He made my condition so clear. He is a guru!
After examining me and re-reading the MRI of my sciatic nerve Dr Hoke knew exactly what the problem was. It is related to L5 in the spine due to some injury. He did not know I had had surgery.I made an appointment nine months ago and I am so thankful to have waited so long to see him. I almost cancelled my appointment after I had a stroke which makes that problem seem so insignificant. Dr Hoke is a full professor at The Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. He is compassionate (unusual for a neurologist), he is patient (was correcting a medical student without embarrassing her), and most of all listened to me.
We addressed my present neurological deficits. They should resolve themselves up to 90%. I will aim for more. And it could take anywhere from 6 months to 2 years. I can live with that! Now the problem in my head... I feel drunk all of the time... this is the blood pressure medicationis affecting my presence of mind.. He even questions the need for it since I am on such an insignificant dose which causes it to drop so much on occasion. Dr Molinaro, my GP, was very nervous about his suggestion for good reasons.
I decided to take the evening dose since I do not feel the dizziness and "loopiness" in bed. I will try without the AM dose. By then my brain is so much clearer until I take the next dose. This way I can see how my system reacts in terms of blood pressure and improvement in "loopiness." I have already implemented a diet which lowers blood pressure. I will continue to exercise as much as my body allows. Dr Hoke seems to think I am working too hard at getting better, so I will rest more. During these rest period I will meditate. We'll see...
In any case, Dr Hoke was a breath of fresh air. He made my condition so clear. He is a guru!
Monday, September 1, 2014
Red flag
Dr Molinero wants to see a record of all my blood pressure readings to see exactly what is missing in our puzzle. Most of the time it is good, running between 112-120; but it occasionally drops to the 80's or spikes to 150. There is a correlation with the spikes and excitement. But the drops? Then there are side effects of dizziness, sensation of fainting, lack of focus and occasional confusion... I am definitely loosing my marbles!
I have been diligent at recording everything in a dairy. So.. yesterday, I spent most of the day making her a copy, only recording relevant information such as activity, reactions, sensations, and blood pressure. Amazing what I discovered.
We continue to explore TED Med and other types or programs on the brain and nutrition. Too much or too strenuous an activity will cause you to produce extra cortisol. NOT GOOD since that was the culprit for my stroke. Yes, stress kills. Well, it appears that my symptoms amplify when I push too much. This-I-should or have-to-attitude has to go. I must not put this type of pressure on myself. Actually, most of have-tos are usually related to my conscience. "I don't want to be a burden, or I want to please someone a bit too much..."
Still, not all of my symptoms are caused by excessive zesto! Tomorrow I get to see the big guru at Johns Hopkins, a neuropathy specialist. Yes, I have had neuropathy in my feet for nearly 15 years due to some anesthesia and antibiotics from my back surgery. Yes, drugs harm. I signed up to see him last December. After reviewing all of my files, he decided to take me on. I have a big surprise for him. He can add a stroke to all of my problems. Perhaps he can shed some light on these unpleasant symptoms of mine.
I hope I can travel there. Yesterday, I undertook going to BJ and got car sick for the first time ever! What is going on? Is the brain creating new pathways to correct my balance and screwing up! Yes, balancing in a car is hard work. Bet you did not realized this as you are so used to it due to a perfect set of synapses. You should research the brain, its functions, and how to fuel it. You are what you eat. America is in trouble.
The family is on a campaign to improve our nutrition even further. It will benefit Darren's epilepsy, Peter's tremor, and my everything! It is very expensive but look at the alternatives: heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, neurological dysfunctions, mood disorders, auto-immune disease and on and on. Medicine is beginning to recognize that it all starts at the molecular level. If only marketing and some pharmaceutical joined... eat well.
I have been diligent at recording everything in a dairy. So.. yesterday, I spent most of the day making her a copy, only recording relevant information such as activity, reactions, sensations, and blood pressure. Amazing what I discovered.
We continue to explore TED Med and other types or programs on the brain and nutrition. Too much or too strenuous an activity will cause you to produce extra cortisol. NOT GOOD since that was the culprit for my stroke. Yes, stress kills. Well, it appears that my symptoms amplify when I push too much. This-I-should or have-to-attitude has to go. I must not put this type of pressure on myself. Actually, most of have-tos are usually related to my conscience. "I don't want to be a burden, or I want to please someone a bit too much..."
Still, not all of my symptoms are caused by excessive zesto! Tomorrow I get to see the big guru at Johns Hopkins, a neuropathy specialist. Yes, I have had neuropathy in my feet for nearly 15 years due to some anesthesia and antibiotics from my back surgery. Yes, drugs harm. I signed up to see him last December. After reviewing all of my files, he decided to take me on. I have a big surprise for him. He can add a stroke to all of my problems. Perhaps he can shed some light on these unpleasant symptoms of mine.
I hope I can travel there. Yesterday, I undertook going to BJ and got car sick for the first time ever! What is going on? Is the brain creating new pathways to correct my balance and screwing up! Yes, balancing in a car is hard work. Bet you did not realized this as you are so used to it due to a perfect set of synapses. You should research the brain, its functions, and how to fuel it. You are what you eat. America is in trouble.
The family is on a campaign to improve our nutrition even further. It will benefit Darren's epilepsy, Peter's tremor, and my everything! It is very expensive but look at the alternatives: heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, neurological dysfunctions, mood disorders, auto-immune disease and on and on. Medicine is beginning to recognize that it all starts at the molecular level. If only marketing and some pharmaceutical joined... eat well.
Monday, August 25, 2014
Dancing is so good for the soul
I've had a couple is negative-attitude days recently. My blood pressure rose for no apparent reason and it frustrated me. Then it started plummeting down, way down. I am already dizzy and feel high all of the time, but this low blood pressure made me feel like I was going to leave this earth. I continuously have low blood pressure after taking the medication. The dosage is extremely low and I take it in divided doses. If I skip a dose, trouble sets in; it shoots up. This will get reviewed on Friday when I see my GP. In the meanwhile, I drink a tiny amount of caffeine to surmount the problem.
So for the past three or four days, I have been a bit less than positive--blaming the doctors. In reality, they do not listen very carefully.
We went out to dinner to our friends' house last night. I faded after 1 1/2 hour. Sitting without doing is very taxing to my brain. Still, it was my first social event. We are going out again tonight. I am resting this afternoon in order to build up my strength to a longer visiting time.
This morning my dear Slava came to dance with me. I kept up for one hour. As long as I keep moving, my feet can keep catching my swaying body. If I stand still, or sit still, the brain has to work so much harder on the balance and I wear out. So we did a very brief warm up, a review of American Foxtrot, and Slava decided it was time to move on the International Tango in close contact. Wow did that strike a momentary panic for me. I had attempted some tango a few days ago and decided to ditch it. I could not balance myself in the link. Well, I surrendered to his suggestion and struggled a bit with the movement at first to see it smooth out with repetition and time. Same thing happened with the International Waltz. The biggest challenge is to dance in close contact as this requires a finer reaction to switching the weight around. I know it will improve by the time he returns from his multi competitions. Katya will work with me on syncopating figures.
It is amazing how music soothes the soul and how it helps the body to flow. It regulates spastic movement AND IT CERTAINLY SOOTHES THE SOUL.
So for the past three or four days, I have been a bit less than positive--blaming the doctors. In reality, they do not listen very carefully.
We went out to dinner to our friends' house last night. I faded after 1 1/2 hour. Sitting without doing is very taxing to my brain. Still, it was my first social event. We are going out again tonight. I am resting this afternoon in order to build up my strength to a longer visiting time.
This morning my dear Slava came to dance with me. I kept up for one hour. As long as I keep moving, my feet can keep catching my swaying body. If I stand still, or sit still, the brain has to work so much harder on the balance and I wear out. So we did a very brief warm up, a review of American Foxtrot, and Slava decided it was time to move on the International Tango in close contact. Wow did that strike a momentary panic for me. I had attempted some tango a few days ago and decided to ditch it. I could not balance myself in the link. Well, I surrendered to his suggestion and struggled a bit with the movement at first to see it smooth out with repetition and time. Same thing happened with the International Waltz. The biggest challenge is to dance in close contact as this requires a finer reaction to switching the weight around. I know it will improve by the time he returns from his multi competitions. Katya will work with me on syncopating figures.
It is amazing how music soothes the soul and how it helps the body to flow. It regulates spastic movement AND IT CERTAINLY SOOTHES THE SOUL.
Friday, August 22, 2014
Relationships
How many neurologists does one person need? I have six and none contacts the other! And I am about to see another one. You see they all have their specialty. You would think that they could work together to figure out your problem, like in "House."
When I was teaching, I wasn't teaching French or Spanish, or English. I was teaching some history, some science, some language skills, some geography etc. Those are all related! If I did not know some skills, I turned to a colleague for assistance.
How can there be so many isolated specialists that work with the nervous system? One was not interested in some facts until I pointed out they were relevant. Now I have to see a new one regarding the neuropathy on my whole right side which resulted from the stroke. Is this unusual? Why do the two big names at Hopkins not answer my questions or even address the issue? You would think that since the symptoms are related to the stroke or the medication that they could handle it. NO. There is limited communication between them.
It would never occurred to me to send my students to another teacher for answers. No wonder our medical system is failing eventhough we spend so much money.
I had a very good day today in spite of this relentless dizziness. Katya challenged me with more rumba, chacha, foxtrot and waltz. Tthe waltz was not too pretty! Adding the rise and fall to changing direction was most tricky. She will come back Monday. Slava is competing for three weeks. He will see quite a change from the first session when he returns.
After a recovery time, we returned to Whole Foods for some grass-fed meats. We ended up buying the latest Vitamix. I had one for 30 years and it wore out. We are about to enter a new phase in foods: the paleo diet. We will be enjoying more whole food smoothies. I must admit this trip was most challenging to my stamina since I had worked out this morning. But I feel good!
When I was teaching, I wasn't teaching French or Spanish, or English. I was teaching some history, some science, some language skills, some geography etc. Those are all related! If I did not know some skills, I turned to a colleague for assistance.
How can there be so many isolated specialists that work with the nervous system? One was not interested in some facts until I pointed out they were relevant. Now I have to see a new one regarding the neuropathy on my whole right side which resulted from the stroke. Is this unusual? Why do the two big names at Hopkins not answer my questions or even address the issue? You would think that since the symptoms are related to the stroke or the medication that they could handle it. NO. There is limited communication between them.
It would never occurred to me to send my students to another teacher for answers. No wonder our medical system is failing eventhough we spend so much money.
I had a very good day today in spite of this relentless dizziness. Katya challenged me with more rumba, chacha, foxtrot and waltz. Tthe waltz was not too pretty! Adding the rise and fall to changing direction was most tricky. She will come back Monday. Slava is competing for three weeks. He will see quite a change from the first session when he returns.
After a recovery time, we returned to Whole Foods for some grass-fed meats. We ended up buying the latest Vitamix. I had one for 30 years and it wore out. We are about to enter a new phase in foods: the paleo diet. We will be enjoying more whole food smoothies. I must admit this trip was most challenging to my stamina since I had worked out this morning. But I feel good!
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
You gotta have a goal.
No matter what your afflictions or difficulties are you have to set a goal. You have to take some form of control. I don't care if you are hurting physically or emotionally or both. I don't care if some adversity is frustrating you. You must allow not adversities to defeat your spirit. Your spirit is what you need to get through these tough times.
So.. I've made tremendous progress over the past month. I'm steadier on my legs. My stamina has improved. I'm even dancing a little. This was my goal. What hasn't improved is this neuropathy as one doctor seemed to label it casually, without listening to me with interest. This is one aspect of my discomfort that has steadily progressed since I was in the hospital. Last night I woke up several times with pain in my shoulder, my torso, legs, feet and hands. What concerns me more than the intensity is the gradual spread to the left side. This is not part of the initial damage to my brain. The stroke was on the left side. Whatever damage was done was over. This is something else. Is it a further reaction to the drugs? Is this a new manifestation of a nerve disease?
I do know that when I take Lipitor religiously, my brain is in a fog and my focus is handicapped. Twice I forgot my dose at bed time and the next day I was much clearer headed to fall back into my stupor the next day when I resumed the medication. Last night I decided to stop the Lipitor. I am hoping it is affecting my central nervous system. I'm hoping the damage will not keep progressing and that it will resolve itself over time. If you remember, I was initially prescribed twice the present dose and we had to cut it in half because it was really causing me serious problems with my consciousness.
I have also resolved to intensify all the cholesterol busting foods and supplements and to reintroduce meditation in my daily routine. We are also dividing my blood pressure in such a way that it will not hit me so hard. An hour after taking it, it plummets down so low as to threaten passing out! Good thing I have the where-with-all to look out for myself because these top notch docs are so short sighted. They are great when it comes to a life threatening emergency but for continuing care! So I have a plan.
Next week, I get a blood test. Hopefully the cholesterol will be in an acceptable range after having taken Lipitor for a month as well as eaten all the good stuff. I never ate bad stuff! But now, I am zeroing on extras like: cia seeds, flax seed oil, flax seeds, rice bran. sunflower lecithin, nuts, fresh berries, oat meal. I will add red rice yeast.
I am also coming off the blood thinner next week. That is not my decision but I am looking forward to it. I will not bruise so easily. My left leg is black and blue from sleeping on it or laying the blood pressure cuff there. All I need to do is squeeze my skin and it bruises. AND maybe stopping it will improve some symptom as well.
The pharmacist just called to tell me they had to order my low-dose blood pressure medication, that they did not normally carry it. So patience... I will continue to open the capsule and remove some of the powder so as not to take too much. Tomorrow will be easier.
In the meanwhile, I keep researching. I read books on the brain and nutrition. Now I must meditate to restore some peace.
So.. I've made tremendous progress over the past month. I'm steadier on my legs. My stamina has improved. I'm even dancing a little. This was my goal. What hasn't improved is this neuropathy as one doctor seemed to label it casually, without listening to me with interest. This is one aspect of my discomfort that has steadily progressed since I was in the hospital. Last night I woke up several times with pain in my shoulder, my torso, legs, feet and hands. What concerns me more than the intensity is the gradual spread to the left side. This is not part of the initial damage to my brain. The stroke was on the left side. Whatever damage was done was over. This is something else. Is it a further reaction to the drugs? Is this a new manifestation of a nerve disease?
I do know that when I take Lipitor religiously, my brain is in a fog and my focus is handicapped. Twice I forgot my dose at bed time and the next day I was much clearer headed to fall back into my stupor the next day when I resumed the medication. Last night I decided to stop the Lipitor. I am hoping it is affecting my central nervous system. I'm hoping the damage will not keep progressing and that it will resolve itself over time. If you remember, I was initially prescribed twice the present dose and we had to cut it in half because it was really causing me serious problems with my consciousness.
I have also resolved to intensify all the cholesterol busting foods and supplements and to reintroduce meditation in my daily routine. We are also dividing my blood pressure in such a way that it will not hit me so hard. An hour after taking it, it plummets down so low as to threaten passing out! Good thing I have the where-with-all to look out for myself because these top notch docs are so short sighted. They are great when it comes to a life threatening emergency but for continuing care! So I have a plan.
Next week, I get a blood test. Hopefully the cholesterol will be in an acceptable range after having taken Lipitor for a month as well as eaten all the good stuff. I never ate bad stuff! But now, I am zeroing on extras like: cia seeds, flax seed oil, flax seeds, rice bran. sunflower lecithin, nuts, fresh berries, oat meal. I will add red rice yeast.
I am also coming off the blood thinner next week. That is not my decision but I am looking forward to it. I will not bruise so easily. My left leg is black and blue from sleeping on it or laying the blood pressure cuff there. All I need to do is squeeze my skin and it bruises. AND maybe stopping it will improve some symptom as well.
The pharmacist just called to tell me they had to order my low-dose blood pressure medication, that they did not normally carry it. So patience... I will continue to open the capsule and remove some of the powder so as not to take too much. Tomorrow will be easier.
In the meanwhile, I keep researching. I read books on the brain and nutrition. Now I must meditate to restore some peace.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Good times and struggles
I have been most particular about house keeping y whole life, and about cooking, and about everything I do-as most of my friends know. I plunge into whatever task and give it my all.
One of my likes,which verges on fanaticism, is freshly ironed sheets! Well I decided to iron mine. You should have seen me trying to smooth out the folds and wrinkles. My lack of coordination slowed me down, I just kept on struggling with all of that material which would slip out of my grasp. I was determined to do it. I finally completed the task after many attempts. What a struggle! (Did I mention we have a king-size bed!)By afternoon, I have used up all of the energy required to create smooth muscle coordination. I must keep those challenging tasks for earlier in the day.
Still, this stroke has taught me to be somewhat patient. I know that tomorrow will be even better than today: I will accomplish more and better.
So far we have had two separate guests stay for a casual dinner. My good friend Diane has visited me at home a couple of times and I managed to cook a complete meal-nothing but grass fed meat, and veggies from our garden. Yesterday Robin came to help me repot my indoor plants. I really enjoyed the challenge of spaghetti and meatballs. She is a vegetarian and I had seen the "jazzy vegetarian" on TV prepare veggie balls. I used bread crumbs, mushrooms, onions, fresh herbs, and walnuts.Thank goodness as I had forgotten that Robin does not like mushrooms! I really like to cook for others and am glad my stamina and balance allow me to do it.
One more pleasure, dancing. Yes, I had a one-hour lesson with Slava this morning. He knew just how much to push me. We danced rumba, chacha, samba, and foxtrot. My balance was improving all along, not without some difficulty. Stepping back and rocking took a few attempts to smooth them out. Samba was the most challenging because of the timing, but I finally managed to perform at a low level. I certainly did not expect to move on so much. It was fun.
One of my likes,which verges on fanaticism, is freshly ironed sheets! Well I decided to iron mine. You should have seen me trying to smooth out the folds and wrinkles. My lack of coordination slowed me down, I just kept on struggling with all of that material which would slip out of my grasp. I was determined to do it. I finally completed the task after many attempts. What a struggle! (Did I mention we have a king-size bed!)By afternoon, I have used up all of the energy required to create smooth muscle coordination. I must keep those challenging tasks for earlier in the day.
Still, this stroke has taught me to be somewhat patient. I know that tomorrow will be even better than today: I will accomplish more and better.
So far we have had two separate guests stay for a casual dinner. My good friend Diane has visited me at home a couple of times and I managed to cook a complete meal-nothing but grass fed meat, and veggies from our garden. Yesterday Robin came to help me repot my indoor plants. I really enjoyed the challenge of spaghetti and meatballs. She is a vegetarian and I had seen the "jazzy vegetarian" on TV prepare veggie balls. I used bread crumbs, mushrooms, onions, fresh herbs, and walnuts.Thank goodness as I had forgotten that Robin does not like mushrooms! I really like to cook for others and am glad my stamina and balance allow me to do it.
One more pleasure, dancing. Yes, I had a one-hour lesson with Slava this morning. He knew just how much to push me. We danced rumba, chacha, samba, and foxtrot. My balance was improving all along, not without some difficulty. Stepping back and rocking took a few attempts to smooth them out. Samba was the most challenging because of the timing, but I finally managed to perform at a low level. I certainly did not expect to move on so much. It was fun.
Friday, August 15, 2014
My Brain for now
You have all seen how a baby's development progresses, from the center out. In other words, he conquers his use of his extremities last. Well, I do not have to learn how to use my whole brain again, but I do have to create new pathways to reclaim all of my right side. The stroke destroyed those pathways that give me full feeling and strength from the head to the toes. The strength is not too bad. I am working on improving it. Thank goodness, I was quite strong prior to this episode.
In addition to having lost some feeling I have acquired new ones. My arm and leg feel as though I have been sleeping on them.You know that feeling of ants crawling on you? In addition, after some exertion, I feel like I have a series of tight rubber bands around my shoulder, my elbow,and my hand, as well as around my waist, my hip, my knee, and my calf. The neurologists did not have any explanation for this. They call it neuropathy. This does not comfort me, but at least I can still use all of those parts! Those closer to the heart have the least.
I had a massage yesterday to improve the circulation.BIG mistake. Those rubber bands tightened up to a very unpleasant degree and persevered into today. Lets hope this is my body's attempt to be reconnected to my brain. Michelle assured me the muscles were very relaxed. The feeling only existed in my head.
My balance keeps on improving. I walk without a cane outside. I will keep it for downhills and for crowds. I am still ditsy,but maybe equivalent to one strong drink now! I never could drink. On an amusing note, relating to infant development: I was down on the floor, dusting my coffee table when I decided to crawl around it. I could not keep my balance- nearly fell on my face. So now, crawling will be part of my routine PT.
In addition to having lost some feeling I have acquired new ones. My arm and leg feel as though I have been sleeping on them.You know that feeling of ants crawling on you? In addition, after some exertion, I feel like I have a series of tight rubber bands around my shoulder, my elbow,and my hand, as well as around my waist, my hip, my knee, and my calf. The neurologists did not have any explanation for this. They call it neuropathy. This does not comfort me, but at least I can still use all of those parts! Those closer to the heart have the least.
I had a massage yesterday to improve the circulation.BIG mistake. Those rubber bands tightened up to a very unpleasant degree and persevered into today. Lets hope this is my body's attempt to be reconnected to my brain. Michelle assured me the muscles were very relaxed. The feeling only existed in my head.
My balance keeps on improving. I walk without a cane outside. I will keep it for downhills and for crowds. I am still ditsy,but maybe equivalent to one strong drink now! I never could drink. On an amusing note, relating to infant development: I was down on the floor, dusting my coffee table when I decided to crawl around it. I could not keep my balance- nearly fell on my face. So now, crawling will be part of my routine PT.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Bless a good hair beautician!
I braved going to get my hair done today eventhough the dizziness was awful. I feared having to sit for one hour to have my hair color processed. It seems that just standing still or sitting still without a focus renders me anxious. I have to keep moving or do something all of the time. This is not new. I have always had this problem. I can concentrate for long periods of time when I'm interested and this has not changed. But to sit and have my hair done! Well, I did it, but must admit there were moments of brief panic. Both Irena, who colors my hair, and Phil, who cuts it, were most accommodating and helpful. Irena used the natural color that I purchased at Whole Foods- against her good judgement. I assured her that I would not hold her responsible if it did not last. Both she and Phil pampered me and saw to my every need: I was escorted, I was dressed, and I was not hasstled into buying their products. I certainly do not want to introduce any foreign chemical in my body when my brain is recovering and after I was exposed to so much radiation from the scans.
Needless to say, I went home very tired but with an excellent cut and a good color. Got a quick lunch and a short rest before Jenna arrived. Jenna is my physical therapist. She was so delighted with my progress that she piled on the exercises. Oh no! Can't I get a brake?
I braved going to get my hair done today eventhough the dizziness was awful. I feared having to sit for one hour to have my hair color processed. It seems that just standing still or sitting still without a focus renders me anxious. I have to keep moving or do something all of the time. This is not new. I have always had this problem. I can concentrate for long periods of time when I'm interested and this has not changed. But to sit and have my hair done! Well, I did it, but must admit there were moments of brief panic. Both Irena, who colors my hair, and Phil, who cuts it, were most accommodating and helpful. Irena used the natural color that I purchased at Whole Foods- against her good judgement. I assured her that I would not hold her responsible if it did not last. Both she and Phil pampered me and saw to my every need: I was escorted, I was dressed, and I was not hasstled into buying their products. I certainly do not want to introduce any foreign chemical in my body when my brain is recovering and after I was exposed to so much radiation from the scans.
Needless to say, I went home very tired but with an excellent cut and a good color. Got a quick lunch and a short rest before Jenna arrived. Jenna is my physical therapist. She was so delighted with my progress that she piled on the exercises. Oh no! Can't I get a brake?
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Reclaiming the kitchen
It is time for me to gradually reclaim my position in the kitchen. I have cleaned the table and the counters up to now. I suddenly found the urge to plan meals and to participate in the preparation.
It all started when we made a trip to Whole Foods to buy me a new hair color. Yes, I am not a red head! My beautician, Irena, agreed to my bringing a natural product so that I don't have to use chemicals for a while. I was not too steady since I still had some of the old meds in me, but I braved the crowds. Thank goodness for shopping carts. Mine was my support. I wouldn't dare drive one of those motorized carts for fear of speeding down the aisles and running down little old ladies. We left with tons of foods. It was fun, a real joy. On top of that, we now have a handicapped sticker so we parked next to the store in the pouring rain.
I prepared and cooked our dinner: chicken on a spit, quinoa with leeks, kale with mushrooms and tomatoes. It was quite good. Peter fixed the salad and dessert. Gotta give him some credit. And now he is cleaning up the dishes.
Today was a good day eventhough I did not sleep well last night. The new meds electrified me! Still, they promise to be better than lisonipril. I feel so much better focused.
Tomorrow, I am off to the beauty parlor.
It is time for me to gradually reclaim my position in the kitchen. I have cleaned the table and the counters up to now. I suddenly found the urge to plan meals and to participate in the preparation.
It all started when we made a trip to Whole Foods to buy me a new hair color. Yes, I am not a red head! My beautician, Irena, agreed to my bringing a natural product so that I don't have to use chemicals for a while. I was not too steady since I still had some of the old meds in me, but I braved the crowds. Thank goodness for shopping carts. Mine was my support. I wouldn't dare drive one of those motorized carts for fear of speeding down the aisles and running down little old ladies. We left with tons of foods. It was fun, a real joy. On top of that, we now have a handicapped sticker so we parked next to the store in the pouring rain.
I prepared and cooked our dinner: chicken on a spit, quinoa with leeks, kale with mushrooms and tomatoes. It was quite good. Peter fixed the salad and dessert. Gotta give him some credit. And now he is cleaning up the dishes.
Today was a good day eventhough I did not sleep well last night. The new meds electrified me! Still, they promise to be better than lisonipril. I feel so much better focused.
Tomorrow, I am off to the beauty parlor.
Monday, August 11, 2014
Dr Ratchford
There is so much to report that I had some trouble selecting a topic for today. I decided on Dr Ratchford who is my vascular specialist. I saw her for the first time two years ago when a bruit was discovered in my carotid arteries. I had ninety degree turns in mine but they were clear of plaque! I was released from her care after two years of no change in my status. I was extremely impressed by her courteous and friendly demeanor. She actually gave me her e-mail and we corresponded several time. I had never encountered this in a doctor, especially one who is the director of the department of vascular medicine at Johns Hopkins!
Since no one wanted to depart from the "protocol" of meds following a stroke, I had been basically stuck with all of their non life-threatening side effects. I do not tolerate people who do not think ouside the box. I decided to e-mail her to explain my situation. She immediately responded on Sunday! We exchanged a few more mails and she arranged to see me first thing this morning, the very next day.
I had to get up early in order to prepare myself. We got up at 5:30 AM to leave at 7:20.To make along story short, she spent one hour with me and reduced the aspirin to 81mg. She feared a brain hemorrage since I'm also on plavix until the month is over. She switched the blood pressure med and lowered the dose by 1/2 again. I must stay on Lipitor for one year and then she will review the possibility of switching to a natural means. At least she knows of alternatives. It turns out her present research is blood flow in the brain following a stroke. What luck! She also like controversy. She is not afraid to stand up to the neurologists at Hopkins, of which her hubby is one.
One interesting fact: St Joe's great neurologist read one of my test wrong and reported that I had a 70% blockage in my carotid artery when it was the famous bend!
So tonight I try one of the new big guns. Some of the dizziness will go but I have been told that it will take time for my body to be used to be on so many meds. I was one none prior to the stroke. As far as the awful tight feelings I sense from head to toe on the right side, it is due to neuropathy. I fear I may be stuck with it. So be it.
So this was my first real expedition away from home- a bit tiring, but rewarding. As a result, I missed the PT person by 10 minutes. We rescheduled. And Heather got me in with one of her speech therapists this afternoon. We worked on strengthening the tongue, swallowing, and pitch. Heather is my daughter who did not think the home speech therapist had done a thorough enough job.
After such a full day, going out twice, I am pooped but thankful.
There is so much to report that I had some trouble selecting a topic for today. I decided on Dr Ratchford who is my vascular specialist. I saw her for the first time two years ago when a bruit was discovered in my carotid arteries. I had ninety degree turns in mine but they were clear of plaque! I was released from her care after two years of no change in my status. I was extremely impressed by her courteous and friendly demeanor. She actually gave me her e-mail and we corresponded several time. I had never encountered this in a doctor, especially one who is the director of the department of vascular medicine at Johns Hopkins!
Since no one wanted to depart from the "protocol" of meds following a stroke, I had been basically stuck with all of their non life-threatening side effects. I do not tolerate people who do not think ouside the box. I decided to e-mail her to explain my situation. She immediately responded on Sunday! We exchanged a few more mails and she arranged to see me first thing this morning, the very next day.
I had to get up early in order to prepare myself. We got up at 5:30 AM to leave at 7:20.To make along story short, she spent one hour with me and reduced the aspirin to 81mg. She feared a brain hemorrage since I'm also on plavix until the month is over. She switched the blood pressure med and lowered the dose by 1/2 again. I must stay on Lipitor for one year and then she will review the possibility of switching to a natural means. At least she knows of alternatives. It turns out her present research is blood flow in the brain following a stroke. What luck! She also like controversy. She is not afraid to stand up to the neurologists at Hopkins, of which her hubby is one.
One interesting fact: St Joe's great neurologist read one of my test wrong and reported that I had a 70% blockage in my carotid artery when it was the famous bend!
So tonight I try one of the new big guns. Some of the dizziness will go but I have been told that it will take time for my body to be used to be on so many meds. I was one none prior to the stroke. As far as the awful tight feelings I sense from head to toe on the right side, it is due to neuropathy. I fear I may be stuck with it. So be it.
So this was my first real expedition away from home- a bit tiring, but rewarding. As a result, I missed the PT person by 10 minutes. We rescheduled. And Heather got me in with one of her speech therapists this afternoon. We worked on strengthening the tongue, swallowing, and pitch. Heather is my daughter who did not think the home speech therapist had done a thorough enough job.
After such a full day, going out twice, I am pooped but thankful.
Saturday, August 9, 2014
I have been inspired to blog my journey into recovery from a stroke. Perhaps this will be of some help to someone. it is a good idea for each personto keep a record of all minute detail in the recovery so as to measure progess.
A little over two weeks ago, I woke up unable to use my right side very well. My speech was slurred and I was unable to stand. I immediately knew and we called 911. I must have panicked with this thought that I had lost my independence as I passed out. I was taken to St Joe's and was released with no meds after three days. The next morning I felt things were deteriorating and asked friends to drive us to Johns Hopkins where I would receive top-notch care. A total of 6 neurologists received me. I was put on meds and watched for three days. I began to walk with my Cadillac of a walker, pushing the limits so as to avoid being injected with the notorious heperin shot in the belly. It was most challenging and tiring. Did you know that the brain used up some 40% of your energy?
As soon as I had returned home, it became evident that I would have a serious reaction to all of these meds: plavix, lipitor, lisinopril, aspirin, and prozac. I was up all night with the runs. It isn't fun to run when you have no balance. Prozac has demonstrated a speedier healing of the brain. I would have to do it on my own. Then there was this massive dizziness. We cut the Lipitor in half without sufficient results.Next, my blood pressure dropped too low. We cut the lisinoril in 1/2. The pressure came up. This spaciness, lack of focus,or dizziness, seems to start a few minutes after taking the lisinopril and tapers off in the late afternoon. Of course one of the side effects of all the meds is dizziness. We are still working on regulating them. In the meanwhile, I push through all the exercises and activities.
I bruise very easily now. Hopefully, I can get rid of the plavix in a couple more weeks.
I have regained a lot of stability. Taking showers is much easier. I can even walk faster. By the way, I graduated from a walker to a cane in a few days, and to no cane the next day. I am to use a cane on my daily walks outside, just in case.
I stupidly thought I could sit on the porch step while I was on the landing. I squatted down, as I could do that, but did not figure that putting my right leg folded under me to sit would create a dead weight. I landed on my R hand ( only from a few inches high) and felt a sharp pain in my little finder. I must have fractured it. Ouch! The pain only occurred when I tried to bend it; so I didn't. In three days the pain was completely gone. I still have a bit of swelling and redness. This is the result of fuzziness in the brain due to meds!
Now how did this stroke come about, you may ask. For years, I have been working on controlling my blood pressure through diet and supplements. On the whole I was successful. Those of you who know me well know what a health nut I am. I've grown my own veggies for over 40 years- all organic. I only buy grass fed meats, and little. We eat salmon from Scotland organically raised.I take tons of supplements. I avoid dairy,except for goat products. BUT, I have not been able to manage the tons of stress that have come my way. That cortisol is a killer.
I began to have daily migraines, as well as ocular migraines. I saw a multitude of neurologists who prescribed meds that made me sick. Then I met a famous doctor who could cure migraines through diet. He was associated with Hopkins, so I tried. We eliminated many foods and supplements. It did the trick .No more headaches! The problem was that my blood pressure rose silently and my blood thickened until bam, I had a stroke in my sleep.
Now I am headache free since I blew a gasket and I am eating those forbidden foods. I have reintroduced those supplements that are safe with my meds. You would think that someone would have suspected the migraines were a precursor.
Now on a good note, I am getting stronger and have more stamina each day. Until today, I have religiously done the exercizes prescribed to me. Now I will substitute some for more meaningful tasks such a working outside a little in the flower beds, or cleaning in the house. And I plan to reintroduce dancing within a week. We will start with American rythm in tennis shoes at the very basic level.
All in all, I am doing vey well thanks to my friends and family and the many of you in facbook land. Thank you, all.
Typing this blog became easier as I wrote along!
A little over two weeks ago, I woke up unable to use my right side very well. My speech was slurred and I was unable to stand. I immediately knew and we called 911. I must have panicked with this thought that I had lost my independence as I passed out. I was taken to St Joe's and was released with no meds after three days. The next morning I felt things were deteriorating and asked friends to drive us to Johns Hopkins where I would receive top-notch care. A total of 6 neurologists received me. I was put on meds and watched for three days. I began to walk with my Cadillac of a walker, pushing the limits so as to avoid being injected with the notorious heperin shot in the belly. It was most challenging and tiring. Did you know that the brain used up some 40% of your energy?
As soon as I had returned home, it became evident that I would have a serious reaction to all of these meds: plavix, lipitor, lisinopril, aspirin, and prozac. I was up all night with the runs. It isn't fun to run when you have no balance. Prozac has demonstrated a speedier healing of the brain. I would have to do it on my own. Then there was this massive dizziness. We cut the Lipitor in half without sufficient results.Next, my blood pressure dropped too low. We cut the lisinoril in 1/2. The pressure came up. This spaciness, lack of focus,or dizziness, seems to start a few minutes after taking the lisinopril and tapers off in the late afternoon. Of course one of the side effects of all the meds is dizziness. We are still working on regulating them. In the meanwhile, I push through all the exercises and activities.
I bruise very easily now. Hopefully, I can get rid of the plavix in a couple more weeks.
I have regained a lot of stability. Taking showers is much easier. I can even walk faster. By the way, I graduated from a walker to a cane in a few days, and to no cane the next day. I am to use a cane on my daily walks outside, just in case.
I stupidly thought I could sit on the porch step while I was on the landing. I squatted down, as I could do that, but did not figure that putting my right leg folded under me to sit would create a dead weight. I landed on my R hand ( only from a few inches high) and felt a sharp pain in my little finder. I must have fractured it. Ouch! The pain only occurred when I tried to bend it; so I didn't. In three days the pain was completely gone. I still have a bit of swelling and redness. This is the result of fuzziness in the brain due to meds!
Now how did this stroke come about, you may ask. For years, I have been working on controlling my blood pressure through diet and supplements. On the whole I was successful. Those of you who know me well know what a health nut I am. I've grown my own veggies for over 40 years- all organic. I only buy grass fed meats, and little. We eat salmon from Scotland organically raised.I take tons of supplements. I avoid dairy,except for goat products. BUT, I have not been able to manage the tons of stress that have come my way. That cortisol is a killer.
I began to have daily migraines, as well as ocular migraines. I saw a multitude of neurologists who prescribed meds that made me sick. Then I met a famous doctor who could cure migraines through diet. He was associated with Hopkins, so I tried. We eliminated many foods and supplements. It did the trick .No more headaches! The problem was that my blood pressure rose silently and my blood thickened until bam, I had a stroke in my sleep.
Now I am headache free since I blew a gasket and I am eating those forbidden foods. I have reintroduced those supplements that are safe with my meds. You would think that someone would have suspected the migraines were a precursor.
Now on a good note, I am getting stronger and have more stamina each day. Until today, I have religiously done the exercizes prescribed to me. Now I will substitute some for more meaningful tasks such a working outside a little in the flower beds, or cleaning in the house. And I plan to reintroduce dancing within a week. We will start with American rythm in tennis shoes at the very basic level.
All in all, I am doing vey well thanks to my friends and family and the many of you in facbook land. Thank you, all.
Typing this blog became easier as I wrote along!
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